I GOT MY LAPTOP FIXED!



check out my eyebags, how do you like me now haha!
Somehow really, i don't find boys attractive anymore.
and uh, they'll definitely be turned off by this!

gg out for dinner!

I slept pretty well last night.
Keeping a free mind and coping extremely well, i'm actually quite perky.

ANW WHY DO ALL THE WEIRDOS HAVE TO TALK TO ME???
ONE WANNA BE MY SUGAR DADDY,
THE OTHER ONE WHAT ITHRUST 19CM X 4.5CM LOL.

I know i'm so mean but i can't help thinking the second one is a little queer. What's up with i find pleasure in bringing you pleasure? and i thought the bots asking you for cyber sex was bad.
I'm thinking of cutting my hair short, should i? I feel like i needa change something hmm.

Miso hungry, dinner's about 2 minutes away!









Bye!

Single

"If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it."

HAHA OMG I LOVE THIS.
Things have finally come to a closure and i'm glad it has.

"Welcome to the single's crew Denise. All on board!" Wish me the best :>
If you ever want to date me, IM me or something but make sure you're not weird and have a pervy face! I'm gonna be away from skinning for awhile so give me a break okay. I'm so glad i have such amazing friends really. Thank you all who bothered and who kept comforting me.

Teerah!

Serving a goodbye

Everything's been so hectic lately. So much is swirling around i think i'm choking. My love life is diminishing by the second and somehow i'm glad things are ending but at the same time, i know 5 years isn't something i can erase and replace. Yes i admit i'm quite hard to be with sometimes and that i say nasty things. But that's really cause i've had it up to here and sometimes i just want things to end so i never go back to feeling as miserable and hurt. I'm not saying he wasn't a good boyfriend but we had our ups and downs. Mostly all i remember are the downs. I use the breakup technique at every corner, although i don't say it just for the sake of saying it, i actually mean it. Feeling constantly hurt and so horrible isn't something i want to live with. Its like walking around aimlessly but yet every single time i jump right back in because i know i love him and that kinda conquers all. Misery doesn't leave you, you don't command it. He has a way of getting to me and when that happens, i feel powerless somehow in a sense that i don't have the patience to keep trying.

I for one am the kind of girl who tries to evade misery everytime i see it coming. And this truly is the only relastionship i've stretched myself so far to ensure every detail of respect revolves around him. Over one lie i blew up. Its not the lie that matters, its the intention. No matter how little the lie is, it makes a person think twice. You know there's a possiblity no matter how great or small for it to happen again and its not something you want to face, or rather i could face. Break ups are hard, especially when the other person keeps giving you the icy shoulder and you're let suspending over nothing by nothing to figure out why. I don't think i have a problem of letting go, i just feel like knowing why he's acting this way is a necessity. I dated him for 5 years, its not smething we just put behind ourselves in an instant and expect to live like it never existed. If we're gonna part, i want it to be on good terms. For us to come clean, so we can both start on a clean slate. Chapters are meant to end, so i'm hoping he'll do me that favour. For once he surprised me, he told me he didn't want to work things out. I was taken a back for a pinch while and i was waiting for the pain to sink it but till now it hasn't. Maybe it was because my certainty was already shaken and whatever the answer was, it didn't make such a huge difference. My hopes weren't crushed in any way.

I do appreciate him, i honestly do. Looking back at all the little things he did for me. Like making a paper rose together 4 over years ago and it still stands in his bathroom, him surprising me with godivas to make up to me, waking up to a scrambled eggs breakfast served up with a smile, getting me stuff from overseas, buying me things unexpectedly but among them all, i really treasure those memories that were just simply him. No presents, no surprises, just plain ol' him reminding me that he loves me. That sums up a smile. I guess in this relationship, my expectations varied, my thoughts matured and i think i'm a lot stronger than i ever was. He isn't everyone's typical boyfriend. His ignorance was what really ticked me off but when they say you love someone for who they are? I guess that's it. no matter how mad he made me, i bounced back every single time. I'm glad he decided to end things. Like he said, it was good while it lasted.

True, i still miss him & i might for awhile but when things end, we all have to abide to change. There are so many questions running through my mind only he can answer them and i'm hoping he'll do all that tonight.

Wish me luck! :)

sorry for the extremeo long wordy post!
Thanks for being there everyone <3

last straw

Happy St Valentines.

♡

I let my guard down.
again.
i wonder when i'll ever stop trying.
last straw okay? Last straw.
i hope i know what i'm doing.
i hope.

I deleted you off my messenger list, your photos off my facebook and i'm giving this another chance. Talk about building from scratch. I know what you're thinking cause i'm thinking the exact same thing. "When will she ever learn?" Maybe i'm fickle, maybe i'm just a sucker or maybe, i'm just too sensitive. The problem could lie with me. I'd like to find out too. I hope this is the last trick i have in my stupid tall hat.
Besides, if i'm single, would you date me?
You?
Ahh..i thought so.

clean slate

" Take a second out to think about this: in your life you search and

search for the right person for you. Every time you break up with

someone you get one step closer to that person. You should look at


moving on as getting closer to meeting the one. "

I hope that's true haha!

You know you love us, xoxo.

Lately i've been so distraught having so many things to think about. Trying to do what's right never quite hit me like how it did today. Well, i'm finally single, something that hasn't been a trend for me in awhile haha! I hope i don't sway because i am so terrible at relationships i know practically nothing about how they work and why they even exist. I'm not bitter but chipper in fact that this could be something new. No boyfriends for me, at least for 100000 years or something!

Anyway, was back at Anderson to relive the memories by walking the corridors and having the super delish wan ton mee. We didn't get to see the teacher's we went there for but overall, time was well spent. Got to see a couple of juniors who never fail to make me feel so ancient. I wish i was younger :<

Caught up with everyone's whereabouts and how they've been doing. Some were great to hear while others weren't as appealing. I miss how we all used to hate school, we'd dread getting up. Now i look bck and realise that once you leave the nest, you're completely on your own and everyone drifts. A little sad but ah wells, that's part and parcel of growing up.
Everyone starts at a clean slate somewhere, somehow, its my turn now.

Dinner tonight, can't w8!
Tata!

until when we are ghosts

"All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages."

-William Shakespeare

troubled

I hate when i'm troubled and try to avoid it. It literally haunts me, i run around in my own head trying to take a bend and hopefully lead my problems into a false chase. I'm not afraid of facing facts, the disappointment followed by heartache isn't something i constantly want to deal with.

There are days when you feel you're at your peak. Those are the days i've been waiting for. I feel like i'm heading for a downfall. not too sure but i'm definitely in for dive, somewhere, somehow. Things just got worse. It had to rain. Least that's something i can gain some comfort in.

sleepy hollow

I've had a lot on my mind lately a little too tired to really go into detail. Been playing a song on repeat for a couple of days now, the lyrics are genius. The way the words are put together, its like there's a bond, as if they were made for each other. Okay i don't know what i'm saying. My body clock is back to being shitty all over again even though i'm really trying to get it back on track. It seems my sleep can never last more than 8 hours without breaking. I feel like such a wreck, i'm not in place. Everyone seems to be down nowadays, is it the break-up season or something? Many are not looking forward to Valentine's. Everyone's either fighting or leaving one another.
I try to be oblivious to the things people say but at times it gets so oppressive i feel like punching something. Time does do us all justice in umteen ways. obviously it hasn't worked for you. I'm not to blame for your loss, your yearn so please, leave me mentally.
Maybe i'll go visit my parents after chinese new year or something. Home doesn't feel right without them.
Just thought i'd do a short update. Gonna go back to bed now, night!

OMG I H8 MY MOM.
She just called me to tell me the durian season's here and i have such a sinful weakness for durians. Durians anal the world HAHA.

I get so bored at home sometimes i take my camera out and take pictures of random stuff. I can never stay at my laptop long unless i'm looking at pictures from mostly flickr. I think i love photography. When i'm lying around listening to music, i wonder if it would be okay if i dropped Mass comm for photography.

A little crazy isn't it?
I have so much on my mind. Maybe i'll bun my hair up today.
Also i never realised how obvious my cleft is!
Gonna head out, bye!